I have had an opportunity to attend an Investment in Excellence course offered by Pacific Institute. The course is big on the power of positive thinking to influence your unconscious, and through Gestalt psychology (now often disregarded in many professional circles), focus all of your mind on pursuing your most important goals. These are called personal affirmations, and are written as goals that although not yet achieved, are expressed as if they have already happened. These personal affirmations are repeated to yourself each morning and night, and the subconscious then 'runs on autopilot' towards the goals.

A significant part of the course is spent reviewing the influence of beliefs and habits on an individual's pursuit of such goals. Simply put, the material makes the point that any such goals are very difficult to achieve in the absence of reprogrammming, because you actually work against their achievement. This is because they represent a change, and your subconsious prefers to fall back on habits, emotions, and flawed perceptions of reality, thus avoiding such changes. Of course, there is an actual reality. For example, no matter how powerfully I believe that I could, there are some goals I could never attain - such as running a 2 minute mile. I've separately written about that limitation and it's application to business.

Much of the course covers material that is common with psychological therapy, including demonstrations of how unreliable senses are, and how self-serving an individual or group's 'memory' may be. This is consistent with other readings I have done on this topic, which emphasizes the notion of personal 'realities' and 'truths', independent of (and often not aligned with) notions of absolute truth, and what reality truly is.

The course also makes the point that organizations operate in a similar fashion to individuals in this regard, and 'self-regulate' towards things that are habits and beliefs, rather than what is best for them. This can even be carried to the point of doing things that may be damaging, if one's self image is negative, rather than positive.

During the course, there were opportunities to reflect on personal goals, and the subject matter of the course, and listened to several journals from others who had taken the course. We also had a chance to write down what our own 'reality' was at this point in our lives. The following is adapted from that material, and is written to emphasize the relevance of some of these learnings to both myself and the groups that I am a part of:

A time comes in your life when you finally get it - when in the midst of all your fears and a chaotic existence, you stop dead in your tracks, and the voice inside your head cries out ENOUGH. Enough fighting and being unhappy, and struggling to hold on to what you deceive yourself to be able to control. Like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your outbursts begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you begin to rise above your emotions, and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening. You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that in the real world, there aren't always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect, and that others will not always love, appreciate, or approve of who or what you are... and that's ok. You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself, and in the process, a sense of new-found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop blaming others for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you), and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that others don't always say what they mean, or mean what they say. You learn that not everyone will always be there for you, and that it's not always about you. You learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself, and in the process, a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance. You stop judging and pointing fingers, and begin to accept others as they are, to overlook their shortcomings, and in the process, a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the mental tapes you have collected, and opinions that have been ingrained into your memory, no matter how inaccurate these might be. You begin to sift through all that you've been fed about how you should behave, what values you should have, and what you owe others. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing, and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought in to begin with. In the process, you learn to go with your instincts, and decide what you really want and need to believe.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive, and that there is power and glory in creating and contributing. You stop maneuvering through life merely as a consumer looking for your next fix. You learn that principles such as trust, honesty, and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a former era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build your existence.

You learn that you can't know everything: it's not your job to save the world, and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility, learn how to set boundaries, and learn how to say no or not now. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry, and that martyrs can get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about relationships - how to evaluate them, how much to give in them, when to stop giving, and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more loveable or important because of the people you are with or that bear your name. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would like them to be.

You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with relationships. You learn that you don't have the right to demand a relationship on your terms, just to make yourself happy. You look in the mirror, come to terms with what you really see, and decide to stop trying to compete with the image inside your head, and agonizing over how you "stack up".

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over, and ignoring your own needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly ok, and that it is your right to want things, and to work for the things that you want. You learn that sometimes it is necessary to make demands, and that sometimes others will make those demands of you. You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with kindness, fairness, and respect, and not allow yourself to settle for less. Through this process, you internalize the meaning of self-respect.

You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit, and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So, you take more time to laugh and to play. You learn that for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for, and that wishing for something to happen is different from working towards making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success, you need direction, discipline, and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone, and that it's ok to risk asking for help. You re-learn that the only thing we must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears, because you know that what ever happens, you can handle it. You learn that to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms, and achieve your full potential. And, you learn to fight for what you really want, and not to squander that opportunity, living under a cloud of impending doom.

You learn that life isn't always fair, that you don't always get what you think you deserve, and that sometimes, bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people and groups. On these occasions, you learn not to personalize things. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy, and resentment must be understood and redirected, or they will suffocate the life out of you, and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong, and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things so often taken for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long, hot shower, an opportunity to learn. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself, by yourself, and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself, and to never settle for less than your heart's desire. And, you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility to be happy.

Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design how you want to live as best you can, so that your transformation can be realized.